Eating my cereal this morning I came across a human hair
toward the bottom of the bowl and I immediately envisioned
a guy in a huge warehouse scooping up the cereal and putting it
into bags, but his hairnet is not quite covering all his hair
and as he scoops another batch, a single hair falls into the cereal
and gets put into the bag.
Then the question becomes do I have a viable lawsuit
for pain and suffering, as I would tell the court that I’ve been
throwing up every morning since, and as a result am losing
so much weight that I have to keep buying new clothes.
That I’m wasting away as we speak, and the only thing
that could possibly save me would be to travel to exotic places,
eat the finest food, and not think about what happened.
An open-and-shut case, if you ask me. . .